Sex Toys for Beginners: Where to Start

Walk into any toy shop, online or off, and the range can feel enormous. There are rabbits, wands, prostate massagers and plenty more. If you’re buying for yourself or a partner, this guide will help you find your way around.

If you already know what feels good when you’re on your own, you’re ahead of the game. Toys can offer new sensations, and they may even spark curiosity you didn’t expect. Try them solo or with a partner, and get to know your body in a fresh way.

Not sure where to start? If terms like cock ring, vibrator or butt plug leave you puzzled, read on. We’ll walk you through the basics, step by step.

Short on time? Here’s the summary

Here’s a quick overview. The details follow below:

• Toys work for two too. They bring variety and playfulness to time with a partner, and can make a shared evening feel fresh.
• Dildos and vibrators feel quite different. Dildos focus on fullness and internal sensation. Vibrators offer buzzing, rhythmic pleasure on sensitive areas.
• Anal toys add a new dimension. Butt plugs and prostate massagers are popular choices for anal play, and many people enjoy exploring them slowly.
• Cock rings and strokers are fun to explore. Cock rings sit at the base of the penis, and strokers offer textures and sensations that are hard to recreate by hand.
• Couples’ toys invite playful teamwork. Strap-ons, love eggs and remote-controlled vibrators are made for playing together, and many couples enjoy the discovery.
• Lube makes a real difference. Choose one that suits your toy and your plans, and it can make play more comfortable.

What are toys actually for?

Everyone has their own reasons for trying toys. Some people want something new, others want a dependable way to enjoy themselves. Either way, a toy can be a fun addition to your routine.

Here are a few common reasons:

• Try out new sensations, alone or together
• Learn what you enjoy most
• Turn up the intensity of your play
• Bring some excitement to a routine that feels stale

Most toys work for solo and partnered play alike, regardless of gender or orientation. Alone, they’re a great way to discover what you like and to explore sensations that are hard to recreate by hand.

For couples, toys can open up new shared experiences and help you learn more about each other. Many people find that watching a partner enjoy a toy is exciting in its own right, and seeing their pleasure up close can be very special.

Toys can also make penetrative sex more rewarding for many people, including those who find penetration alone doesn’t do much for them. Try adding a clitoral toy, such as a wand or a bullet, to the mix. Some people go on to enjoy a blended orgasm, which comes from stimulating several erogenous zones at once.

Some couples find that a new toy brings fresh energy to activities that had lost their spark. A little novelty can make an ordinary evening feel special.

A tour of the main toy types

Let’s take a look inside the box.

Dildos

The classic choice. These insertable toys are simple to use and suit anyone who likes internal stimulation. You can use them vaginally or anally, but clean them thoroughly when switching between the two.

Plenty of dildos have a suction cup or flared base. That makes them compatible with a harness, which is handy if pegging interests you. The flared base also stops the toy slipping further in than intended.

What’s great about dildos is how many there are. You’ll find every shape, size and style you can think of, from long and chunky to small and gentle for first-timers.

If you’re drawn to male anatomy, a realistic dildo might be your thing. They’re made in a wide range of skin tones and often include lifelike details such as veins and ridges.

Want something less lifelike? Non-representational dildos are a great alternative. Silicone feels soft and gentle against the skin, while stainless steel and glass feel firmer and look especially sleek on display.

Some dildos are simple and understated, others are almost works of art. There’s a style for every gender expression, orientation and fantasy. Fantasy designs, such as dragons or tentacles, are fun to browse even if they’re not your thing. Some look so good they deserve a spot on a shelf.

Vibrators

Vibrators do what the name suggests. Many people assume they’re only for women, but that idea is far from accurate.

Some vibrators, much like dildos, are designed for insertion and produce deep, humming sensations that reach the G-spot or P-spot. Others are made for external use only. Those can glide across nipples, thighs or any other area you enjoy.

Shopping for your first vibrator? A wand massager is a great place to begin. Wands suit people of any gender and work well alone or with a partner. Once you’re comfortable, you might enjoy trying attachments that fit over the head for a different feel.

A few other types to know about:

• Bullet vibrators. Small and classic, usually external only. Their compact size and simple controls suit beginners well. Try one slowly over the clitoris or shaft when you’re alone.
• Anal vibrators. Vibrating prostate massagers are one example, and plenty of people find them a worthwhile pick. We’ll cover butt plugs and beads a little later.
• Clitoral toys. Many of these go beyond buzzing and use suction or air pulses instead. Some people enjoy the sensation, which can feel quite different from vibration, so it’s worth trying one with a partner for a playful experience.
• Rabbit vibrators. Probably the best-known style, with a shaft for internal stimulation and a second arm for the outside. The arm often sits over the clitoris, giving a combined feeling that many people find very pleasurable.